Clusterfucks
by Witch Of Hope
Summary: Series of Vantas-Lejion Family shenanigans.


"There's no turning back after this, just so you know!" She was as merry as always. Her stupid blue hat pulled down slightly to make her bangs appear as if they were cat fangs. It made me want to grab the hat and hide it somewhere she'll never hide it. Then she wouldn't ever doubt my amazing prankster skills! Besides pranking was that John kid's thing.

"Just because you're a year older than me doesn't mean I can't handle a stupid joke, Nepeta." I snapped back at her with a clear scowl on my face. I could do this prank by myself if it wasn't for my tendency to mess up the easiest things. Actually I messed up everything despite what my oh-so caring mother said.

At the moment, all three of our parents are out on some stupid date. They said that'd be back really late, so I wasn't expecting to see them until tomorrow morning. At least I was hoping to see them tomorrow morning. Kankri was supposed to babysit us for the entire night. Meulin would have been here too if it wasn't for her freakishly tall boyfriend. I didn't have a problem with her boyfriend since the guy sometimes brought over his less tall but still freakishly tall little brother. The whole Makara family was stupid and tall and maybe a little bit creepy.

Back to my parents. They had tried to explain their relationship before, but I wasn't really paying attention since I had already figured out that relationships were different, and there would never be one similar to any other relationship in the world. At that point, Lendra decided my open-mindedness deserved a huge hug. Lendra was my mother that had nearly nothing to do with my birth. Dahlia was the one that actually gave birth to me. She called me intelligent for being able to point this out at seven years old. And Simone was a dad, who was involved with both of my mothers. They used some long word to describe what they had, but I didn't bother to learn the word. Who was going to ask what that word was called anyway?

Nepeta tried her best to control her hyper-activeness for the sake of not getting caught by the all-knowing Kankri. No one wanted to hear him go on and on about the importance of people's private time. He'd be wasting his time since the both of us would probably run off and hide until he was done with ranting- or spreading his knowledge to all willing to listen, as he called it. Kankri was such a stupid butt sometimes.

Opening the door to our big brother's bedroom, we made sure he was asleep in his bed before we even attempted this. It was risky, but Nepeta was going to reward me with one of her cupcakes she baked with Dahlia. Dahlia was the best cook aside from Auntie Paint. Auntie Paint always cooked for us when we went over her house, and I sort of didn't want to leave. Nepeta glanced back at me with a sharp grin and nodded. Here began the mission we probably shouldn't be doing, but are gonna do it anyway. According to Nepeta, it was called 'Get Kankri Back For All The Times He Tortured Us With Stupid Lectures For A Whole Hour' or 'GKBFATHTUWSLFAH.' Of course, I didn't really learn either version of the name. That was stupid. I was just here to get my revenge and cupcake.

I carefully handed Nepeta a can of whipped cream, or as she called it 'the secret weapon.' It wasn't all that secret since everyone knew what a can of whipped cream looked like. She could come up with better nicknames if she had time to think of one. Kankri was going to be in a whole lot of whipped cream once he woke up. Thankfully that douche was a heavy sleeper. I pulled out my own can of whipped cream before walking up to the snoring beast. Kankri was noisy even when he slept. It was hilarious.

I shook the can before turning back to eye Nepeta. It seemed like she was ready to go through with our plan- it was mostly her plan, but I was gonna take credit too. After all I did go through with her plan. I grabbed Kankri's hand, filling it with whipped cream while Nepeta did whatever she was supposed to do around his room. Probably putting whipped cream everywhere. He'd absolutely hate that. Kankri had a habitat of rubbing his face when he woke up, so this would be just like tickling his face with a feather and bombing him with his own hand. We didn't use a feather though. Once the first two steps of our plan were complete, we left the room as quickly and quietly as we could. No way were we going to get caught!

Shutting the door, we both returned to the living room just in time to see our lovely older sister return with her boyfriend and his little brother. The Makaras were sort of weird. Both of their faces were painted to resemble a clown, but there weren't any happy colors. An hour passed before a sudden shout came out of Kankri's room.

"KARKAT ARIEL VANTAS AND NEPETA AUROA LEIJON, YOU'RE GOING TO CLEAN THIS MESS UP IMMEDIATELY."


End file.
